Happy New Year! I MISS YOU MORE THAN THE MOST POWERFUL WORDS CAN EVER DESCRIBE. I've noticed that I'm always writing to you, and I want to make it a good habit because this is the only way I can communicate with you and tell you how I feel. This just gives me the thought and comfort that you're really still alive and watching over us, as though your just having a vacation at a different country. Hope you're watching the fireworks right now happily up there with Jesus. 😊😊😊
I want to tell you that I miss the old days so so much. I've had quite a number of awkward and bad moments with my cousins, or our other relatives, and I can't believe that I'm about to say the most surreal thing ever. During Christmas and today (December 31), I had such a great time. I can even recall crying over you just a few days ago, since I was looking at our old photos, how happy we were, and then I couldn't help but think of how all the wasted and bad times of mine with the family could have been amazing if you were still with us. I didn't want anyone, especially my parents, to see me crying over you because I knew that they'd think that I was being a total drama queen. You've been lost for quite a long time, and I think that they expect me to have moved on and because as they know, there isn't any valid reason for me to be crying over you. I also prayed the rosary on Christmas and today, since I always need luck when there's an event with our family. I seriously cannot afford another depressing and worthless moment.
I want to tell you about Christmas first. It all really started when me and Aunt Jen, along with her dog Sophia, gathered at grandma's bedroom for some reason. We began having lots of fun, and I'm so proud to say that I didn't keep my mouth shut! I contemplated on how the room's become so small, and I was really happy when I saw my cousin, Paolo and Aunt Jen react with smiles. When all of the adults left, I began playing with Perry and Paolo (my two cousins *wink* 😉), AND I HAD SO MUCH FUN! I was so afraid that I'd be awkward or something, but none of those expectations happened. I thank God so deeply for letting me be happy, and for giving me a chance to bring back my old relationship with them.
Now, a while ago, we had lunch at Max's to celebrate Aunt Elle's birthday. We then went to grandma's house and stayed there till dinner, which was really cool. I got to eat the delicious cooking of grandma, play with my cousin (a lightsaber duel, and we played hide and seek -- okay, I admit, I'm really childish), and watch my aunts and uncles have battles of Kareoke. This is what I call priceless.
I wish that life could always be like this, and I'm so sad that three solid years were wasted because of my parents' and aunt's fight. I'm so grateful right now that my old relationship is slowly being rebuilt, part by part, and piece by piece. I really want to see the happy past with my family become my present and future. Life will never be the same without you, Dada. I knew you were smiling at us all. 😊
Your granddaughter, Athena Cat.
PS to my grandpa: All the names mentioned in this post are code names, but I think you'll be able to figure them out. 😉😉😉 I love you!
All Images are from Pinterest.