Baguio, Please!!!

Dear Dada, 

     Helloooo. It's been a couple of weeks ever since the Tagaytay trip, and I really had so much fun there. I also had another dream of you last Monday, and I now realize that it's always such a priceless moment whenever I get to see you. A story is even playing out in my head, about a girl who could communicate with the dead. But anywho, that's another chapter. 

     I'm writing to you today because I need your help. It's really strange, since I have no kind of confirmation at all that you're even reading this or seeing me right now as I type these very words. I never listen or believe in my heart, but with this situation, I'm purely relying on it and on my belief that your very eyes are dancing through the sentences, word per word, letter by letter. 

     For the past few days, mom and Aunt Jen have been planning for the family trip to Baguio. Everything is settled. Everyone was free, and everyone said that they would be able to go. But when Aunt Jen asked for the last call, grandma suddenly said no. Mom talked to her on the phone, and she said that it kind of offended her when she was asked that question. Mom successfully convinced her to say yes, and so mom called up Aunt Jen to say that the trip would push through. But after that, Aunt Jen spoke with grandma, and she changed her mind and said no once again.

      I really really hoped that everything was going to be settled last night, and I even did a super awesome lettering of Baguio in my planner! I'm feeling crushed, and I do not want to let this opportunity go to waste.  Dada, please help me out. I have a plan of talking to grandma later on the phone, so that she'd say yes to Baguio. Mom says that grandma would definitely say yes because I'm her only granddaughter, and grandchild that doesn't live with her. 

     In my opinion, I think that this plan will definitely succeed. But I need your help, because I might get tongue tied while talking to her, or I might lose track of what I'm about to say. You do know that between you and grandma, I was very much closer with you. Anyways, I understand that grandma is being quite a drama queen with this, because I know that she's old and, er old people are like that, right? 

     Aunt Jen is calling the whole plan off by 11 am, and I'm quite worried because it's already 10:17, and I still cannot contact her because Dad's working, and I need his phone to talk to her. But I think that even though she says yes and it's already 12 pm, the plan will still go through. Aunt Jen has to book a room for us already, and she has to do it asap, because a lot of people are visiting Baguio as well. But I am not taking no for an answer, and I need to convince my grandmother. 

     Help me out please. God, also hear my prayer. My cousin's already got a girlfriend! We are already growing up, and I'm beginning to realize that I only have a few years left to spend with my family -- with me still being a kid! I want to make more beautiful memories, and I'm starting to ignore the over thinking, awkwardness, or scary situations that may come. Because in this situation, I am truly starting to look at the positive and bright side. I miss the old days, and I want to rebuild the past. 

     I love you Dada, and I miss you. I hope you read this letter and help me out.

Another One

Dear Dada, 

     Happy New Year! I MISS YOU MORE THAN THE MOST POWERFUL WORDS CAN EVER DESCRIBE. I've noticed that I'm always writing to you, and I want to make it a good habit because this is the only way I can communicate with you and tell you how I feel. This just gives me the thought and comfort that you're really still alive and watching over us, as though your just having a vacation at a different country. Hope you're watching the fireworks right now happily up there with Jesus. 😊😊😊

     I want to tell you that I miss the old days so so much. I've had quite a number of awkward and bad moments with my cousins, or our other relatives, and I can't believe that I'm about to say the most surreal thing ever. During Christmas and today (December 31), I had such a great time. I can even recall crying over you just a few days ago, since I was looking at our old photos, how happy we were, and then I couldn't help but think of how all the wasted and bad times of mine with the family could have been amazing if you were still with us. I didn't want anyone, especially my parents, to see me crying over you because I knew that they'd think that I was being a total drama queen. You've been lost for quite a long time, and I think that they expect me to have moved on and because as they know, there isn't any valid reason for me to be crying over you. I also prayed the rosary on Christmas and today, since I always need luck when there's an event with our family. I seriously cannot afford another depressing and worthless moment. 

     I want to tell you about Christmas first. It all really started when me and Aunt Jen, along with her dog Sophia, gathered at grandma's bedroom for some reason. We began having lots of fun, and I'm so proud to say that I didn't keep my mouth shut! I contemplated on how the room's become so small, and I was really happy when I saw my cousin, Paolo and Aunt Jen react with smiles. When all of the adults left, I began playing with Perry and Paolo (my two cousins *wink* 😉), AND I HAD SO MUCH FUN!  I was so afraid that I'd be awkward or something, but none of those expectations happened. I thank God so deeply for letting me be happy, and for giving me a chance to bring back my old relationship with them. 

     Now, a while ago, we had lunch at Max's to celebrate Aunt Elle's birthday. We then went to grandma's house and stayed there till dinner, which was really cool. I got to eat the delicious cooking of grandma, play with my cousin (a lightsaber duel, and we played hide and seek -- okay, I admit, I'm really childish), and watch my aunts and uncles have battles of Kareoke. This is what I call priceless. 

     I wish that life could always be like this, and I'm so sad that three solid years were wasted because of my parents' and aunt's fight. I'm so grateful right now that my old relationship is slowly being rebuilt, part by part, and piece by piece. I really want to see the happy past with my family become my present and future. Life will never be the same without you, Dada. I knew you were smiling at us all. 😊

                                    With love, 

                                       Your granddaughter, Athena Cat.

PS to my grandpa: All the names mentioned in this post are code names, but I think you'll be able to figure them out. 😉😉😉 I love you!

All Images are from Pinterest.

Complete Stranger

      Let me start from the very beginning. Let me start from the time my eyes opened and the brightness of the hospital's ceiling lights greeted me, and I was carried in these two warm arms of a woman I now call my mom. Let me start.

     Memories are overflowing in my head like a water tank waiting to burst. Some pierce through me like a clean sharp knife, while the others are like onions that suddenly make me water up. I think that you've forgotten the past, the good and joyful before, and I'm required to bring it back. This is an open letter, not to one person, but to everyone in the world who is grieving over the death of someone who is still alive. 

       Photo from Pinterest

     Do you still know me? Sure, you know my name, but what enters your mind when you hear of it? Blankness, I would guess. "Yeah, she's my cousin." "Yeah, she's my neice." "Yeah, she's a relative of mine." You know my name. You know what I look like. But. . . if I were to have a time turner, and travel back through time, I know that you'd even smile. I just know it. I know that you'd even wish that I was with you. I know that you'd think of me, or recall the last time we saw each other. Call me crazy, say that I'm a know-it-all, tell me that I'm wrong. But I believe in my heart. 

     I'm going to introduce myself to you, because I need you to trust me when I say that you do not know me. My name is Athena Cat, just a pathetic little girl from your unopened memories. And as always, she's assuming and hoping for the impossible, only to fail and get hurt once again. But anyways, let's forget about that right now, shall we? It's impossible for you to remember, but believe it or not, I used to cry every time we had to stop playing because me and my family had to go home already. I may be a stranger to you now, but we used to dance on the bed and pretend that we were in a royal ball. I remember once that I brought some stickers with me, and we sticked them up on grandma's wall. I reckon it's even there until now, but currently, it's just another meaningless childhood fragment of yours. Remember when we used to go to the mall together and we'd hold each other's hands? There was also this one time when we used to create a fort or space ship with pillows, and we even pretended like there was a war and you'd try to wake me up, because I died while fighting. We used to dream about having our own tree house. You'd have the second floor, and I'd have the first. Ooh, and one time, you were trying to convince me to go in front of everyone at the restaurant and say happy birthday grandpa on the microphone with you. And I can still recall so vividly the day that I didn't want to go home, and magically, the door from the bedroom wouldn't open, thus locking us inside. We both were trying to free ourselves, but I was so happy though, because it meant more time to spend with you. We used to swim together in that tiny inflatable pool at your place. You'd always be the hider in hide and seek, and my mom would get mad whenever I wouldn't use my slippers while playing. We used to be best friends, inseparable and close. But now, all these things in the past are quite the opposite of the present. It. . . is all. . .  shattered, and nothing more than one of those old and burnt photo albums, showing the unspeakable truth of time stopping images.

      Photo from Pinterest

     Just a while ago, we saw each other at the family reunion. You greeted me and I gave you a hug. And by that split second hearing your voice, I couldn't stand to think that this was the same voice that I used to talk to so comfortably, without any fear or awkwardness. The event went on and on, and you were at the front, having fun with some of our other cousins whom I don't even know the names of. I stayed upstairs, trying to study for my periodical exams tomorrow. But when I finished, it was all still the same. You stayed with some other people, and you all laughed and had fun, while I stayed, spending the whole day with my phone, just hoping to be able to get back home. See how time flies? It was just like yesterday that I was begging my parents to stay a little longer because I practically wanted to live at your place. You know, if I changed our ages a little bit, and reverse the years, with the same people, same time, same place, I just know that you'd stay by my side. I used to love the company of my family, thinking that I had this group of people where I was the star, and everybody loved me, but now, I sit in a corner and desire to stay unknown. 

      Photo from Pinterest

     I miss you so much. I wish that time never grew old and we could stay kids forever, but you've forgotten the before, and I am now a complete stranger. It isn't impossible to bring back the past and get our old relationship to the present, but it's going to be really hard. But no matter what happens, you'll always be my cousin, and you will forever be my childhood best friend.

           

                 Photo from Pinterest