Julian and Alexandria

EDIT 

May 8, 2018

May 15, 2018

CHAPTER EIGHT - s p a r k s

I quickly yelled I HATE JULIAN FOSTER in the cafeteria, before scampering to my table. This caused Julian to be scolded by the principal herself, and more pity points/sympathetic looks for me.

But the guilt had dawned on me by the end of the day, when I found myself snugly wrapped around Tyler's arms. I quickly diminished it, shrugged it off my shoulder, reminding myself that whoever Julian was, he would not go beyond the borderlines of friendship. 

Platonic, and nothing more.

"Xandriaaa!" he beamed, a little awkward at the slightest of contact but adorable nonetheless. "I missed you so much!" 

"I missed you too, Tyler!" I choke out the words. It's been a month and I've seen him, MY BOYFRIEND only now.

"So how's your summer been?" I ask.

"Nothing new. Played video games from day to night, and slept until five am." he mused. I couldn't help but smile at his high level of maturity.

"So, I take it that I'm still dropping you home?" he quips. I sigh, not because I'm not allowed to drive yet, but because the only reason I came to see him was due to a car ride.

"Yeah. You know my mom; she still won't let me drive until I'm fifty six." he nods in understanding at my all but true joke and starts the engine. 

"Ria!" a deep voice calls out. My eyes flick to the corner to see a boy in a green hoodie. 

"Julian. You're the only one who calls me Ria, you know?" I chuckle, eyeing the two ice cream cones in his hand. 

"Yes, and I still don't care about that. You want some ice cream?" he offers.

"Well yeah, but --" 

"Okay, you can have this one." he hands me the chocolatey treat and I gape at him.

"This is free? I don't have to pay you or do something in return?" I question. Out of the short time span I've known Julian, not once have I caught a time where he was GENUINELY kind. This was definitely a start. 

"You didn't have to!" I say, a small patch of pink forming on my cheeks. Julian rolled his eyes. 

"The cone's already in your hands. Might as well eat it." 

"Julian --" he shuts me up by pushing my hand and making a tiny portion of the chocolate ice cream go to my face. I gasp. 

"Oh no you did not. . . "

"I just did." 

I growl and take off after him, hungry for revenge. 

"Come back here, Julian, or I'm legitimately gonna kill you!" I warn. 

- - -

Ynna Heart's POV

Sunlight crept to the crevice of Rutherford High's gray cemented steps. The lowly creatures I call as my schoolmates ran off and about in different directions. 

I clutched the tiny pen around my fingers, trying to paint a portrait of this very afternoon -- trying to translate this image in front of me into words. Trying to describe the masked smile Tyler Brann had when he started the engine and when his eyes -- his warm, brown, almond eyes wandered to the girl of his dreams chasing some guy. 

Some guy.

He slouched in his seat and concentrated on the floor, the floor that always seemed to be there when people wished to forget the miserable facts of reality.

I felt someone take a seat beside me, and on instinct, my hand automatically closed around the notebook's cover and I hid it away in my backpack.

"Hey Ynna!" 

"Paige! Nice to see you!" I all but spilled the words in one, rushed hurry. My vision stayed on the three people in front, and Paige was definitely one to see what was going on. 

"Ah. Love." she drawled lazily.

"I don't know what's happening with Alexandria." I pondered. IT'S LIKE SHE'S FORGOTTEN ABOUT TYLER.

"Tyler and Xandria just don't have that spark anymore. It's gone, it's extinguished." she responds. THE SPARK HAS FLEW OFF FOR ANOTHER BOY.

"Do you ship them?" I inquired.

"Do you?" 

"Absoloutely not." I spat, as Paige burst into a quick chuckle. 

"We've known Alexandria since sixth grade. Whatever choice she makes, it'll be for the best. And if she messes up, she'll fix things." I pursed my lips and nodded in agreement. Sometimes, Xandria was just an oblivious, oblivious girl.

- - -

a u t h o r ' s    n o t e

Hello, people! I loved writing this chapter so much, because I put a lot of effort in this one. I especially loved going inside Ynna's head, and I felt that she was sooo like Jughead Jones from Riverdale! Drama is building up! I wonder what will happen next.

Why?

Why?
Almost every day of my life
As I wake up to greet the comforting blue sky,
Welcoming another day,
Another chance,
I cannot help but ask.
Why?

•••

The world is breathtaking,
It's many colors and views
Every flower from each garden,
All the animals from different crews
Each attraction from all the countries,
Priceless moments,
Unforgettable sights.

•••

People can be amazing,
They can be helpful,
Humans --
They can let you laugh in the darkest of times
They can make you smile in your deepest despairs
They will give you memories to cherish and hold onto till death
They will make you feel beautiful,
Let you love yourself.

•••

But. . .
why?

•••

Despite the rainbows,
The princesses and the nice tomorrows,
Why do they have to stop?
Why can't there be no last drop?
Why does the color have to be smeared,
With the shadows and harsh tears?
Why can we not stay,
In this continuing endless play?
Why do we need to frown,
To be sad because everything's down?
Why can't they all be nice?
Because I'm sure, our happiness would then be thrice.

•••

I have lots of questions
But I am not rich with time,
I have lots of whys,
But I'll say this one before my very last rhyme
So answer me,
Universe,
World,
Humans,
Brain
If you'd even dare or try.


•••

Here it finally is,
No more exes and os
No more arrows and bows,
Because here I finally go,
Telling you with one straight blow.
I am hurt, I am broken, I am cursed.
Everything is evil.
I know, I've said it billions of times.
You've read it from every article in each and every line
But in this case,
There is no bright side.
There is no right,
Even if you string all your might.

•••

So now you're probably wondering,
How did I say it was evil?

•••

BECAUSE IT CREATED SUNSHINES,
IT TUCK ME TO SLEEP AND SANG A LULLABY,
IT GAVE ME PARENTS AND MY BIRTHRIGHT
IT LET ME SEE THE BEAUTY, THE WONDERS,
IT LOVED ME AND I ADORED IT
IT CREATED MAGIC, JOY, AND INDESCRIBABLE FEELINGS
IT GAVE ME DIAMONDS, GOLD
MORE THAN ANYTHING I'D EVER LIKE
BUT IN THE END,
IN THE END WHAT, WHAT DID IT DO?
IT DECEIVED, IT STAINED, IT WAS NOT TRUE
IT MADE THE PAIN SO MUCH WORSE
THAN THE HAPPINESS I THOUGHT WAS NOT BLUE
IT WAS BAIT,
IT KILLS, IT BREAKS, IT FAKES,
LEAVING ME ALONE TO CONTEMPLATE
I CRY IN THE NIGHT
HOPING, WISHING, PRAYING,
THAT MY PATHETIC LITTLE BEAM OF LIGHT
WOULD ERASE MY FRIGHT
TRYING TO ASSURE MYSELF,
THAT THIS WAS NOT RIGHT.

•••

My dear happiness,
My love,
My smiles, and my dreams,
My hopes, and all my merry days
Why, why, why?
Do you laugh at my cries?

•••

A chapter from my new book on Wattpad, Just Another Tear. Please do follow me, my username's @HermioneGranger004. It would mean the world if you did. 😊

My Other Half

Sometimes,
I am nice.
I am loving, helpful, and kind
I am innocent
I adore the whole world
I love everyone
I like everything.

•••

Sometimes,
I am wicked
I accidentally release
The demons from the cage
I can despise you
Desire your death
I can be dangerous
And hope for your worst

•••

I try to stop
I try to control
Stop being the wrong
And be a friendly soul
I try to shut up
I try closing my mouth
But my words have pierced a soul
And sorry ain't enough
I try to let things become better
But I then make things worse
I try making you smile
But I end up being sad

•••

I have two faces.
Two sides, two traces
One is innocent, beautiful, and nice
The other,
Horrible, mean, and unrefined

•••

I am sorry,
Sorry for every single thing
I am a monster,
Destructive and irresponsible
I am frightened just as you
Of what my other half
Can surprisingly do

•••


A chapter from my new book on Wattpad, Just Another Tear. My username's HermioneGranger004. :) 

My Life is a Trash Can.

My life is a trash can. It always has been, but I had never had the guts to say that it is true. But yes, it very much is. 

     All my life ever since I can remember, I've poured all the hard work needed for the best results. I give my very best in everything, I make sure that everything was given enough attention, that everything has just the right need. No putting too much sugar in the coffee, no cutting the paper more than an inch, no reading too little in my math book. I follow by the rules, and mostly put even more paint to make your damned canvas look nice. I always do. 

     And yet, as you pay your bills -- give even more than what is required, the cashier, of course, will have to give you your change. You gave her twenty dollars for a price of ten dollars, and then you get only a dollar back. And when you say that it's unfair, that she should be giving the exact change, all that is to be said is THERE IS NO MORE MONEY IN THE CASH REGISTER. You, being the innocent stupid payer, obviously, will not be able to do a thing. You aren't a magician to make money appear out of thin air, are you?

     My whole life is basically like that. No matter how much I give effort into one thing, I am repaid with such little than I really should be getting. I'm really not being arrogant, greedy, or anything -- I know when what I'm doing isn't right. But to be honest, it sucks not getting the victory that you deserve. It depresses me that my life is just a trash can -- I only get the wrongs, the sufferings, the unfairness. The stabs of pain hurt even more when you see the lazy, careless ones get the trophy. The unneeded things, the excess from the perfects, are the ones given back to me. 

     I've long accepted the fact that life is unfair, and it always will be.

Feared

I do not know why so many people are extremely frightened of me. They shiver and gasp at the slightest thought or sight of me. To be quite frank with you, I love the world and I appreciate the little unnoticeable beauty in all sorts of things. From the drops of snow on Christmas nights, to the scorching heat in the summer. I even like collecting stamps, if you'd believe. 

Photo Creds to Pinterest, Wonderings of a Writer, Typorama

     Ever since the beginning of time, I was always treated as this insolent piece of dirt that gave chills to everyone as soon as they got over their problem and moved on with their life.

     I am not to be feared at all. 

     If you'd notice, I am the cause of all your happiness. Without me, you'd never even smile or laugh. Remember, joy cannot proceed without despair. I was there with you during your crushing heartbreak, when your crush always failed to lay his eyes on you. I was there for you when you and your cousins would stay up late, creating puppet shows or when you'd have your cute pillow fights. I was also there when you'd close your eyes and take a break from all the rumpus in the world. And how am I repaid? Through ignorance, fear, and annoyance. 

Photo Creds to Pinterest

      I am the darkness. I am feared because of my appearance, when you yourself never notice all the things that I have done just for you. I have been your friend when the world shut you out, I wiped your tears as they dried up on your pillow, I stayed up with you till the dawn, all to comfort you. I notice the beauty in you, I see the struggles you deal with, and I understand. I may not be able to communicate with you, but just look at me and you'll know that everything's going to be okay. I have understood life as a dangerous, cruel place, and trust me when I say that I, the darkness, am not the mastermind of this. I am not completely a foe, but I desire to be a friend. Welcome me into your life, and please don't be scared. I'll always be here for you.

Photo Creds to Pinterest, Editing to Wonderings of a Writer and Typorama