Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Help For All Teens

     In just a week or so, classes will finally start. I'll be riding the bus early in the morning again, I'll be wearing those tight checkered skirts instead of my shorts and pajamas, and my fingers will once again hurt while spending hours glued to a pen -- I wish they'd allow us to use gadgets, for goodness sake. And this year, is another year that confirms. . . that I am growing up.

     But it's not just the classes that makes me say I really feel like I'm growing up, though. I'm growing up in all the ways my imaginative, witty, four year old self could have ever imagined. 

     Let me write down what I mean. I've changed physically. When I was in third grade, all the girls were these tall giants and the boys were like ants. And now, being a teenager, suddenly it's like the grass is growing quickly and the boys have drunk some potion. I've shrunk! In the past, I was in the back of the line, and now, I'm suddenly fifth. Fifth?! Fifth!  Sometimes you can not believe it at all.

      Photo from Pinterest (Whisper)             

     Hormones are becoming active. According to mother, I am now able to resist sleep. Amazing! Yeah, only problem is you wake up to get an oily face. Ugh, pubic hair. Grose, right? Sometimes, I dislike reality because of this. And then, ugh, periods! You've got to go out of the classroom and hide your pad, and then it's another problem when your period leaks. I rarely ever get the stomach ache, but when I do, it is horrible. Another thing I hate about periods, is that grouchy mood. I do my best to hide the times whenever I've got a period, because when mom and dad find out, they'll all be "Oh, that's it! You've got your period! That's why you're annoyed!" or if I whine a lot, one of them would say, "Do you have your period?" Seriously. Wether or not she has it, and if she really does, why ask it? I swear it will just make her mood worse, since I feel like breaking a cement wall with a hammer when someone asks that.

           Photo from Pinterest

     And then there's that good side of life. Look, now you're smarter, and you've got more advantages! Sure there are more responsibilities, but there is still that wonderful bright side! You could never understand those letter stuff in Maths, and though you aren't at your best, look at you now! You've come a long long way. You just need a strong push to reach all your goals. And remember that day in the mall you'd spend with your friends, but you weren't allowed? Now, you're coming out of H&M with shopping bags like never before with your squad. Sometimes, life gets hard, but you can always look at the bright side of things. :) 

     And last but not the least, that forceful attitude of you wanting to fit in, of you caring what other people think of you. In the past, you didn't care if you wore a hundred butterfly clips on your hair, and had crooked teeth. And now, just a little flaw like the stray bangs will get you down. Listen, other people's opinions don't matter. Sure, it's hard to ignore what they think of you, but you've got to do what makes you happy. Don't overreact about tiny things. You won't ever live the best of life if you let other people get into your head, don't do what you want, and don't step out of that comfort zone. If you're all alone and your studies are hard, I think that you should approach God. He can make anything happen, and please, Athena, never ever doubt his kindness, mercy, and power. :) Think happy things, the whole year isn't devoted to your sadness event, alright? Besides, your friends and family will always have your back through the thick and thin.

     Aside from wanting to fit in and caring about other people's opinions, there is suddenly that humanoid that makes you go all alaolaolaoalaooaloalaoalo. Yes. And now, you try to be at your best in looks and smarts because of that someone. But here's a little something you should know. Young love  -__- , is not what your youth, your teenhood is completely and really made up of. It's a big part of it, yes, but it's not all about that. From my observations, 60% is like nothing but heart, heart, heart, love love, love, and sad, sad, sad in high school. It's also about spending the best of your precious life with your family, makng a difference with your studies, finding yourself, and sparking change.

     Dear Future-Still-Teen-Me, if you are reading this right now, you should just know that all these things are normal. All that depression, all the hardwork, the confusion, and judgement, they will all pass. Keep your dreams in your mind, and don't let anything get you down. Go out of your comfort zone, be brave, and be the best person you could possibly be. If you're worrying with studies, know that anything is possible, so if Isaac Newton is a genius, you can be just like him. If you're worrying about all those judgie meanies and all those scary opinions, know that there are people who appreciate you for you, so you don't need judgements. They won't do you any good, negative thinking is unhealthy. Mean people don't matter because they aren't really important, they do not know anything about you. And if you're worrying about love. . . I think that the best advice I could give to you is to be who you are and wait. I am a believer as well of the saying that the person you are meant to be with will come no matter what at the right time, regardless how far he or she may be. And don't try to be someone you aren't. Love yourself, because the way you expect someone to love you perfectly as you'd imagined can only be activated bg you and you only. You know, it may happen that you yourself is the answer to what you really need in life. But for now, enjoy all those six teen years with your friends and family, and always be strong. If a ship sinks, it had a hole to let water pass in. But if you don't have a hole, and don't let the other people depress you, you'll stay floating.

Remember These.
1. Do what makes you happy.
2. Be yourself.
3. Step out of your comfort zone.
4. Ignore other people's comments. You have your own friends and appreciators.
5. Focus on your goals.
6. Stay strong and be kind.
7. Always. Always. Pray to God.
     You are not alone with what you are going through, always remember that. This will all pass. Don't be afraid. Be the best you can be, and always remember that you have your family, friends, and God on your side.

     Photo From We Heart It

Athena Cat as Kazinra Dephlee

Dear Callaron,

     I vividly recall the very first day I met you. Both a little old already, definitely not the preschoolers we were back then. I collapsed on the ground and suddenly I wake up to see you. I didn't really care about it THAT much. But three days before Valentine's, we talked on Facebook. And that was when it all hit me. These two DREAMS were highly unusual. I did so many research about dreams and people, and then I think I became obsessed. Because every time I tell myself to stop, it just so happens that we see each other again, with no control whatsoever of mine. Because they are dreams, and dreams are fiction. Fiction means not real.

     One thing you should know about me, is that the littlest of things matter. The way someone chews their straw, how my teacher shouts at me, or how annoying it is to have to put force just to erase those pencil marks in a notebook. And this dream wasn't even something little. It was something so odd. It mattered to me a lot.

     You should also know that I, as a Scorpio, do not fall for people (Humanoids :| ) easily, but when we do, it is as deep as Adele rolling in it. But I am really not saying that I actually, really liked you. I only liked you for those dreams. If I never had those dreams, you do know that I's never come to the point of typing this dumb letter.

     But now, even if I tell myself to stop dreaming, that it's final, I'll stop, the dreams of you really do stop now, unlike in the first few months. This probably means it is time to forget. And if not, I really should. Yesterday, I finally moved on from nothing. Yes, nothing. I never knew you. You never knew me. Strangers, okay? And I treated it as if it was some big deal. What is it to you anyways that someone dreams of you multiple times and you yourself don't even know about it? Will you care if I told you that I was someone from the past? Of course not, because what always matters is the present. But ever since January or the first week of February this year, you've made an enormous impact on me. I just got curious.

     I've did research about you, and for some reason that I am not sure of either, I am letting this all stop. What matters more in a dream is what the message is and what happens, than who was in it.

     I was kind of happy about it back then even if the touch of insecurity and fear was there.  Now, I can't believe that I'm actually a bit sad! I am so so so stupid. I also feel mad and annoyed at you so much for making me have those dreams, even if I know that it wasn't your responsibility. This is dumb and pathetic, I know. Dumb dumb Kazinra, having her own little fairytales.

     I want to tell myself reasons that will help me with this.
1. You don't know me. I doubt that you do after so many years.
2. I don't know you. No, just your name. Three is such a low number. We were three when we were classmates! I don't know anything else about you.
3. Dreams are not real. They're just messages from our
4. We will never be something close, like, classmates or something. (I AM NOT PERTAINING TO A >3 RELATIONSHIP, OKAY?! CURSE YOU,  IMAGINARY SHIPPERS)
5. Someone from the past is all we'll ever be to each other.
6. This is so stupid.

Your Past Friend,
Kazinra Dephlee

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

It Comes Again

     I won't say that I vividly recall the day I wrote an article last year in May 2015 about my day of enrollment at school, because I find that as such a cliche, though, I do very much recall the day I went to school and heard Candy calling my name, missing her desperately. But now, I am finally allowed to go to the mall with her. 

      With the summer calligraphy classes anxiously stressing me out, hundreds of books waiting to be read, and sunny days to go out swimming, it still isn't the best summer ever, but the most fast paced summer yet. 

     My dad enrolled me last week for the next school year, and we've already bought all my textbooks, school supplies, and uniforms.

     This school year, I have got to be better. If last year, I didn't do enough I'll have to force myself to be the best I can be. Of course, this means listening to my teachers, reciting a lot, and going over my notes once I get home. I'm already finding this impossible as the words on my tablet continuously go longer. But most of all, I'll have to overcome that fear of staring into my teachers' eyes. I don't usually make eye contact with my teachers since if I do, that means she'll call me to answer her questions.

     All I really want is that perfect school year just like fifth grade. Teachers who aren't boring, high grades (yes, I was even included in the top ten smartest students in class), and the best friends of all. God, please help me. . . . I really need your help.