Memories are overflowing in my head like a water tank waiting to burst. Some pierce through me like a clean sharp knife, while the others are like onions that suddenly make me water up. I think that you've forgotten the past, the good and joyful before, and I'm required to bring it back. This is an open letter, not to one person, but to everyone in the world who is grieving over the death of someone who is still alive.
Do you still know me? Sure, you know my name, but what enters your mind when you hear of it? Blankness, I would guess. "Yeah, she's my cousin." "Yeah, she's my neice." "Yeah, she's a relative of mine." You know my name. You know what I look like. But. . . if I were to have a time turner, and travel back through time, I know that you'd even smile. I just know it. I know that you'd even wish that I was with you. I know that you'd think of me, or recall the last time we saw each other. Call me crazy, say that I'm a know-it-all, tell me that I'm wrong. But I believe in my heart.
I'm going to introduce myself to you, because I need you to trust me when I say that you do not know me. My name is Athena Cat, just a pathetic little girl from your unopened memories. And as always, she's assuming and hoping for the impossible, only to fail and get hurt once again. But anyways, let's forget about that right now, shall we? It's impossible for you to remember, but believe it or not, I used to cry every time we had to stop playing because me and my family had to go home already. I may be a stranger to you now, but we used to dance on the bed and pretend that we were in a royal ball. I remember once that I brought some stickers with me, and we sticked them up on grandma's wall. I reckon it's even there until now, but currently, it's just another meaningless childhood fragment of yours. Remember when we used to go to the mall together and we'd hold each other's hands? There was also this one time when we used to create a fort or space ship with pillows, and we even pretended like there was a war and you'd try to wake me up, because I died while fighting. We used to dream about having our own tree house. You'd have the second floor, and I'd have the first. Ooh, and one time, you were trying to convince me to go in front of everyone at the restaurant and say happy birthday grandpa on the microphone with you. And I can still recall so vividly the day that I didn't want to go home, and magically, the door from the bedroom wouldn't open, thus locking us inside. We both were trying to free ourselves, but I was so happy though, because it meant more time to spend with you. We used to swim together in that tiny inflatable pool at your place. You'd always be the hider in hide and seek, and my mom would get mad whenever I wouldn't use my slippers while playing. We used to be best friends, inseparable and close. But now, all these things in the past are quite the opposite of the present. It. . . is all. . . shattered, and nothing more than one of those old and burnt photo albums, showing the unspeakable truth of time stopping images.
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Just a while ago, we saw each other at the family reunion. You greeted me and I gave you a hug. And by that split second hearing your voice, I couldn't stand to think that this was the same voice that I used to talk to so comfortably, without any fear or awkwardness. The event went on and on, and you were at the front, having fun with some of our other cousins whom I don't even know the names of. I stayed upstairs, trying to study for my periodical exams tomorrow. But when I finished, it was all still the same. You stayed with some other people, and you all laughed and had fun, while I stayed, spending the whole day with my phone, just hoping to be able to get back home. See how time flies? It was just like yesterday that I was begging my parents to stay a little longer because I practically wanted to live at your place. You know, if I changed our ages a little bit, and reverse the years, with the same people, same time, same place, I just know that you'd stay by my side. I used to love the company of my family, thinking that I had this group of people where I was the star, and everybody loved me, but now, I sit in a corner and desire to stay unknown.
Photo from Pinterest
I miss you so much. I wish that time never grew old and we could stay kids forever, but you've forgotten the before, and I am now a complete stranger. It isn't impossible to bring back the past and get our old relationship to the present, but it's going to be really hard. But no matter what happens, you'll always be my cousin, and you will forever be my childhood best friend.
Photo from Pinterest
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